Dating a gynecologist
These men were in their mid-to-late 30s and early 40s. And I would very nicely tell them they were dating the wrong woman, extricate myself, and move on. Two different, otherwise wonderful, handsome, and brilliant men said they "understood" after I opened up about my fears.
Sex drive is really hard to evaluate because there are lots of factors – sometimes, there might not be anything physical at play.
My suspicions were confirmed when they asked me later with hopeful (as in, not worried) eyes if I could be pregnant. And then I met a guy at a friend's birthday party in Brooklyn.
In 1972, Gloria Steinem said, "We're just talking wombs," a quote that I had always thought was hyperbolic. I gave up online dating, the lure of which was that you could put out there what you really wanted—or didn't want—and you could find a match on at least your most basic values (like not wanting children). Handsome in just the way I find men attractive—tall, slim, brilliant, and incredibly sensitive—he was, even on our first date, too good to be true.
That is: All women want children—as one gynecologist told me, "That's what we're here for." But I don't want to.
I stayed with my first serious boyfriend for seven years.
I met wonderful, interesting men, who showed me parts of New York I hadn't known—all very rom-commy and joyful.